Walking By Monster Light: Purgatory
by finedininganddestiel
Summary: Dean and Cas have fallen into the pits of Purgatory. But Cas has up and disappeared. Dean's about to panic when salvation appears to him. God put a failsafe in that will lead any human out of Purgatory. Guided by a blast from his past, Dean maneuvers through Purgatory, heading towards Cas, but more importantly, Home.
1. Chapter 1

"Cas?", Dean turned around frantically in circles, but his angel was nowhere to be found. God this can't be happening.

"CAS?", Dean yells louder, his voice cracking, and he can't help but hate the fear he hears in his own voice. The bushes and woods rustle around him, and light flickers in from watching eyes, sizing Dean up and down. Dean can feel his heart beating in his chest, quickly, rising, rising, beating.

"Cas?", Dean says one more time, a quiet whisper whisking out on his breath in a puff of air. Dean's head is spinning and he doesn't know if its the teleportation into Purgatory, The fight, or a little of both. Light starts to flicker and dot around the edges of his vision, as his blood reaches maximum volume, beating into his ears with the sound and power of a thousand rivers. A rustle, a noise right next to Dean. He see's a quick flash of a young boy, out of focused quickly disappearing into the underbrush.

"Who's there?", Dean yells, standing up, all his frustration and rage setting him on edge. Another flicker, a rustle. The same kid again. What the Hell? He stops for a second, quietly examining Dean with a quick smile before turning away and running off into the bushes again. Shaggy brown hair, big toothed grin, and an old aviator pilot jacket run into the distance.

"Sammy?", Dean stutters out, unsure,

I must be losing my mind, Dean thinks, as he slowly starts moving in the underbrush where Sammy ran off into. But he couldn't stop himself for making sure, doublechecking, and he picked up as speed after the boy in front of him,

"Sammy! Wait!", Dean yells after the boy, turning around a corner in the bend.

Dean runs straight forward into a clearing, his feet stumbling under him, and all the weight of everything he's just seen falling down on him at once, he loses his balance, tripping and wiping out in the dirt. He skids on his hands and knees in the dirt, the mud flecking up all over him, smearing all over his face and clothes. He pushes himself up into a sitting position. Little Sammy's standing right in front of him, his back turned to him.

"Sammy?", Dean asks warily, knowing that whatever this is it can't be his brother, but he can't find it in him to sit up, defend himself, from whatever this is. A few seconds tick by, But Dean can't take this anymore. Can't take any of this. Cas, where are you? Please.. Is all Dean can think as he trudges his way forward to whatever this is in front of him. His feet moving so slowly he feels likes he's walking through molasses. Dean finally reaches the boy, and reaches his hand out to rest it on the boys shoulder...

As Dean's hand makes contact the boy swirls around, screaming. His eye's wide and yellow, blood oozing out of his mouth and nose. Sammy, No, whatever this apparition is, grabs him by his jacket whipping him across the ravine. Dean hits down hard with a thud and a gasp, before he can move, it's already there in front of him.

"Oh, Dean. How predictable you are. Just couldn't not follow after little Sammy huh?", the anti-Sammy, the beast, smirks, a hellish, evil grin that twist and contorts Sammy's precious face.

"What- Who? What are you?", Dean manages to gasp out, struggling under the pin of this monsters grasp.

"Oh, Dean, I think you already know.", Anti-Sammy drops Dean, and he falls back down with a Humph! from his lungs. Sammy's standing in front of him now, standing there staring at him eerily, that nasty smug expression dominating his features.

Dean coughs out a breath, smearing some blood away from his lip, "Let me guess, The girl scouts are taking on new recruits?".

Dean smirks and the beast growls, running forward in an instant, snatching Dean back up again and whirling him up and around again. Dean comes smashing back onto the ground, wincing at every hit. Cas, Cas, Help... Losing... Hope...

"Oh, Dean, You can hide behind the wit as much as you want. But you and me both know that it won't work with me.", Sammy blinks and his eyes transition between Sammy's and the yellow eyed demon's eyes.

"And why not?", Dean asks him, although a part of him he already knows the answer.

"Because, Dean. I am you. Don't you get it, Dean? You've lost it. All those years of trying to keep little Sammy in one piece has taken its toll. A mighty big one. And when Castiel left you, poor, hopeless, Dean, all by himself in Purgatory. You couldn't handle it.", The boy taunts Dean, seeming to move around him effortlessly, his words echoing in his ears like monstrous thoughts, clouding his judgement.

"No.. This can't be happening...", Dean mutters, trying to stand up. The boy moves in front of him, into his pathway instantly, blocking him off.

"Oh, Believe me this is happening, Dean. Welcome to Purgatory."


	2. Chapter 2

The world's starting to spin off its axis and Dean feels the ground underneath him start to shake, throwing him even more off balance then he already is. This Sammy in front of him, his consciousness, his mind, whatever it is, laughs at Dean's expression, getting off on all the emotions boiling through him.

"This... this can't be happening. How.. How are you... me?", Dean manages to get out, even though his head is screaming like it's about to split open like a walnut, and his eyes are straining to stay open and functioning.

"This is Purgatory, Dean. We don't play by Earth rules here. This is a land of monsters and death. The fact that you have a soul, and that your hearts still beating, is why I'm here. I'm a failsafe.", Sammy replied in a bored tone, kicking rocks around in the dirt.

"A failsafe? Like Dr. Strangelove?", Dean replies, his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. Sammy rolls his eyes at his reference but makes no move to argue with him. He makes a pointed face back at Dean like Can I finish my speech now? Sam lets out a bored sigh, and opens his mouth to continue,

"When God made Purgatory he made it to contain the Leviathans and monsters. Not his precious Humans. They either go up or down, notice how Purgatory isn't an option?", Dean closes his mouth after shutting it at Sammy's statement,

"Well, I guess I never really thought of it like that", Dean answered, embarrassedly, running his hand through his hair,

"Exactly. So your not suppose to be here Dean. God made a failsafe that would allow any living creature to escape Purgatory if needed. A piece of each person's consciousness, each person's soul, is dedicated to this purpose. To appear as a guide to lead any wayward humans home.", The realization of Sammy's words were starting to make sense,

"So you're my North Star, Hun? But then if you're a part of me... Why do you look like that?", Dean flicked his hands towards Sammy, indicating up and down Sammy's hellish figure before pointing towards his yellow eyes.

"I'm a part of you, Dean. And I'm a piece of you thats dedicated to Purgatory. I'm not exactly going to be an angel on your shoulder.", Dean's mind jerked out of this ... whatever this is happening in front of him, remembering that somewhere Cas was here too. Cas.

Dean jumps in suddenly interrupting whatever Sammy's saying, "- Wait! You said every living thing in here has a soul train guide out of here? Does that mean Cas does too?", Dean asked hurriedly, tension building in his chest. Maybe wherever Cas is he's safe.

"Cas isn't a human though, he doesn't have a soul, like you Dean. He has grace, and essence, but no soul to guide him out.", Sam asked, warily, squinting at him like he was guessing what Dean was hinting at.

"Well that settles it then. Cas doesn't have a lifeline out of here, We're going to have to track him down and show him the way out.", Dean realized that no matter what he had to find Cas, had to get him out of here.

"You said you'd help me get out, help me find what I'm looking for, Then lead me to Cas. We have to find Cas, we have to get home to Sammy.", Dean said assuredly, closing the conversation for discussion.

"Dean- You know this isn't a good idea. And do we really want to waste our effort trying to find this guy? I mean, it's not like he was taken by force. He just poof'd, like he always does.", Sam responded sarcastically, laying out the details in front of them. But Dean wouldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. If Cas disappeared it had to be for a reason, he wouldn't do this to Dean. Dean felt a bump in his heart at the thought, his feelings for Cas manifesting in him, filling him with a mixture of emotions.

Dean hadn't realized how he had felt for Cas until all that mess with Sam's missing soul. And even then, he had waved it off as nothing, making up little excuses every time Cas came around. But when they learned Cas had been working with Crowley, Dean couldn't make excuses anymore. The pain he felt in his chest when they caught Cas in that angel trap, and Cas hadn't been able to tell Dean he wasn't working with Crowley. God- even now that memory brought sharp pricks of pain across his body. God, and then Cas took in all those souls, those leviathans. And then he was gone. Dean was standing on the shore and Cas was walking off into the water, until it poured over his head and body, and he was gone. And Dean didn't think he had ever felt so much pain before, so much loss and wanting. He hadn't realized till then that his simple crush had grown into this... this. whatever this was he was feeling. Then Dean found him again. He'll never forget that moment, or the moment soon after, when Cas cured Sam, but at the cost of his sanity. Then Cas wasn't Cas anymore, but couldn't stop how he felt about him, still loved him anyways. He took care of his as much as he could, until Cas managed to get himself back together again. Or mostly back together. And now, here we are, Dean thought bitterly.

Now Cas is gone, and Dean still doesn't know how Cas feels about him. That night when Cas came to Bobby's house and tried to defend himself for working with Crowley, Dean could have sworn... That he felt something. When Cas was pleading with him, begging him, his voice- sounded so broken. So very, very human. And his eyes, they looked so very much like how Dean's felt. But then Cas was gone. And when he released all the Leviathans, when he gave his final glance at Dean, Dean had seen and felt so many things in that moment. But how was he to know what Cas had felt? Could Cas even feel? And then when they found Cas again he wasn't even Cas anymore. But still... He had felt.. Forget it! His mind seemed to say, the argument working itself out in his mind was the same one Dean he thought about a million times. Lied awake at night thinking about.

Sammy burst through his bubble of thought, the present seeping back in quickly, knocking out whatever stray thoughts out of focus,

"DEAN! DEAN! Stop thinking about him! DEAN!", Dean's hearing came back in quickly, lurching into place in the present with his vision. Sammy was completely in his face, waving his arms importantly. If Dean didn't know better he would have said that this little monster looked concern. Which couldn't be a good thing.

"What- What? Get out of my face. What the Hell!", Dean smacked Sammy out of his face, pushing the kid off him.

Sammy scowled, "Well, maybe if you hadn't started vocalizing our position to the entire world of Purgatory I wouldn't have had to seek out such drastic measures", Sammy snarled, pacing around nervously, looking at every twig and snap around them like he expected an army to come storming towards them. Dean blanched at Sammy's words, the blood draining from his face.

"What do you mean broadcasting our location? How?", Dean snapped back irritably, his voice sounding like a deep growl in his throat. Sam stopped pacing and looked Dean up and down, making a sarcastic Oh like you don't know expression. Dean's face heated up, blood rushing in his cheeks. Sam laughed at him, observing his flush with amusement before answering.

"Oh, you know why. Because of what you're thinking about. And Who. And more importantly, how you're thinking of him.", Sam said, putting emphasis on each and every word, drawing the words out in a way that made Dean squirm. Dean didn't even acknowledge his feeling, let alone this thing acknowledge them out loud.

"Enough! Shut your mouth, you little fuck!", Deana growled, his fists clenching together with adrenaline, his nerves shot. Sam raised his arms up defensively, like he was just shooting the breeze with him,

"I'm just answering your question, Dean. Longing, wishing, praying... Those are some of the most human things you can do. Every monster in this place just caught scent of your prayer, and they're zoning in on us as we speak.", Dean looked around the ravine more cautiously, his ears straining to hear everything happening around them.

"So.. What do we do?", Dean exclaimed, his tone edgy.

"We run. I can get us somewhere safe, and maybe if we luck out I can find someone to help us on the way. But you gotta stop thinking about your boytoy, or we're never going to lose these creeps.", Sammy answered, turning, and moving quickly into a passage on the other side of the clearing that Dean could have sworn wasn't there before.

"Deal. As long as you lead me to Cas, I'm happy. Do your thing Fido.", Dean retorted, chuckling at his own joke. Sammy gave him an irritated expression over his shoulder as they melted into the dark passageway and started to run. Behind him in the ravine Dean could hear sound, people yelling, along with some rather inhumane noises. He sent one last thought Cas's way before pushing him out of his head.

_I'm coming, Cas. I'm coming. _


End file.
